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ONCE AGAIN



Finally she grabs the phone feeling she really needs to make that call; to shut the screamings in her head, to hear the whisper she has been waiting for so long, but its inevitable to hang up whenever she hears a female voice answering his phone. it should have been his voice on the other line, it had to be her by his side, but its not and she realizes the world is not on her side, but the way its supposed to be.

How to understand it without a tear on her cheek, unacceptable path when she has run back for him; but its too late, or maybe too soon, either way bad timing is all she knows for now. She lays down and remembers to breathe, it seems like her lungs totally forgot the inhale exhale process and stopped working just like her heart stopped beating for a second. its only a heartache she claims, so sad, so naive, with a phrase rounding on her head as an attempt of pure self defense; "this too shall pass".
Its all she can think of, the only words left on her mind; cuz she cant find the words to describe the destroyed illusions she has been building since the first glance. it once felt as an awakening, that has turned into her favorite nightmare lately, and the only thing left to do is to put the hopes under her pillow so maybe they will wave goodbye on the sweetest dream she has never had.
Next day's sun will light up her face again, just like the moon lit up both faces once, when the walk under the stars never seemed to end; the magic will never end, when reality never started; but she likes to live this way, unexpected routines with the strongest heart ill ever know. and she knows it, and she loves it, untypical lifestyle, filled with fantasy and great expectations, and still... she keeps it real, but cant help to unplug the phone...once again.

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